Tower Records sell out of Metallica stock after Glastonbury performance

20120502060717631Tower Records have confirmed this morning that they have completely sold out of Metallica stock after the band’s headlining performance at Glastonbury on Saturday night. Don’t panic though – fortunately a re-order was logged last week which should be filled tomorrow morning.

“We had to re-order all of our Metallica stock, as well as additional items we don’t normally carry”, confirmed James O’Brien, Tower manager. “Glastonbury supporters had been turning up all week to purchase Metallica stock and burn it outside in a large eco-friendly bonofire to protest the band’s inclusion as a Glasto headliner. Vegans, PETA, feminists, Apple product users, they all showed up to denounce the band. Once Metallica played though, they started buying the stuff to bring home – fucking eejits. Win win for us”.

Buying frenzy at Tower Records, Dublin yesterday

Buying frenzy at Tower Records, Dublin yesterday

In an apparent breakdown of popular culture, it seems the hipster world is now divided as thousands of bearded, legging wearing big wheel bicycle envy sufferers have cast aside their Arcade Fire albums to proclaim they are and always have been metal devotees.

“I saw Anvil when it was released, I’ve always been so into metal” claims twitter user @transformersshouldalwayshavebeenacartoon from Suffolk. In a series of tweets the user proclaims that heavy metal is a forgotten art for those who choose to use large music to show their feelings. “The guitars represent pain and the vocals represent more pain. The drums are also pain but the bass is the light. Metal is so diverse – the black album is like OK Computer or Funeral. I always preferred their earlier stuff though”.

Other metal bands, including Megadeth, Slayer, Anthrax and Sepultura are expected to benefit greatly from the hipsters immediate need to prove how metal they are and while older Metallica fans are responding quite negatively and sarcastically to the hipster world’s sudden interest in the group, Anthrax fans are embracing them with one twitter user – @iloveANTHRAXthismuch|____________________| claiming this is a “good day for metal”.

Glastonbury organizers have also confirmed this morning that next year’s event will include a dedicated heavy metal tent called ‘They only sing about cruelty, they don’t actually do it – so you can enjoy them Stage’ and have booked Cannibal Corpse, Emperor, Exhumed, Mayhem and Exodus to perform. Ed Sheeran has also announced plans to release the first singer / songwriter metal album. The world waits with baited breath….

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