DME To Announce Announcement about an up and coming Announcement

DME

Exciting news for Dublin metal fans as our main supplier of non-Point Depot filling mania have some exciting news to announce. Unfortunately though, fans will have to wait days to find out what the news is as DME are only in a position to hint that they will announce an announcement over the coming week.

Inpatient fans flooded the DME Facebook page this morning and inundated head honcho, Fergal ‘H’ with names, hoping desperately to receive a confirmation. Using a sophisticated formula, assisted with lashings of logic, history, hope and pant wetting excitement – fans proposed names, tours, possibilities, theories, counter-theories, arguments and naked hostility in the hopes and forcing DME into a position where it no longer makes sense to keep things secret. Unfortunately the responses were giving away no clues, but that didn’t stop the guessing.

It’s got to be Cannibal Corpse, Revocation and Aeon”, proclaims Stephen from Ballybrack. “They’re playing Europe in October, November and December and they’ve days off before the tour, after Helsinki, Gothenburg, Madrid, Lilli, Copenhagen, Warsaw, Nova Gorica and Uden. Plus six of those dates fall on a full moon which is 85.72% of the free days which corresponds to the number of full moons on free days on two of the past three times they’ve played here. It’s fucking obviously got to be them!”.

DME were not immediately available for comment on the matter, but Paul from Raheny offered a different opinion.

2014-evile-724x1024Cannibal Corpse me bollocks”, he writes. “Everyone knows they never play shows in Ireland that close to Cambodia’s Coronation Day when the year is dividable by two. It’s more than likely the Evile show is just being pushed out another twenty four months and reduced down to €0.36 entrance”.

With days to wait, the comments section on DME’s wall is likely to get more and more vicious as impatience, hormonal angst and metal hostility fuse together in a possible rampage of internet troll-ism and terror. Facebook admins are advising patient followers to temporarily disable alerts for new messages until the full announcement has been revealed.

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