D.I.Y. MySpace Review – Only Fumes and Corpses

onlyfumesand

Some funny intro. Some witty remarks. Some general references to what I’m up to. A closing remark that brings us to the point. Pointless, un-researched general info (generally nothing more than the bands location) and the band’s name (Only Fumes and Corpses).

Usual spiel about never hearing them or seeing them.

Open with a general statement about the group normally based entirely on their first song. EG –  I think hardcore punk is a scene that needs to be laid to rest. I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes listening to this band (Only Fumes and Corpses) and not only have they sucked my life away, they’ve destroyed any credibility I would have given this genre. It’s nothing more than the bastard son of punk and metal. Then move onto discussing each song. This proves to people you’ve at least visited the bands MySpace. Five Days starts off pretty well. Nice Slayer kind of aggression on the drums and in the riffs and that’s kept going for some time, building the sound and adding layers of anger. Then the vocals and the main riff’s plummet in. Not bad because it’s over pretty quickly. In all fairness, this isn’t a bad track. What suddenly dawns on Tickets There is this song has been running for at least 15 minutes. Going back to the MySpace I (yes it’s an I day, Anto’s away) discover that I’m on the third track. They all sound so similar I couldn’t even tell when one finished and one started. Not only do they sound similar but the quality just hops onto a spiraling descent into awfulness. Flogging a Dead Horse doesn’t even sound like it has a chorus while Drawing Lines is sooooo fucking long, boring and repetitive I’ll deserve a medal for actually sitting this one out.

Move onto the next song and try to look for some of the band positives. If this fails, tear into their fucking souls like Satan himself. If you feel you don’t have the right because you haven’t followed your dreams and you don’t think it’s right to criticize people for doing just that…then you have no business writing a MySpace Review. This isn’t Hotpress folks, it’s brutal reality of life (you’re so full of shit TT – Ed). What’s DRI? I couldn’t be bothered checking Google to find out. Anyway, the fourth song is I Don’t Need Society is by far the best, possibly only because it’s a DRI cover. Fast, well played and (finally thank god!!) a different-ish riff than the other three. Not bad. Wouldn’t listen again but not bad. Rage Against the Machine is just screaming in their graves.

Fifth song, It’s Imminent is obviously an original because they’ve just gone back, taken the music for the first three tracks and changed the odd lyric. Boring, repetitive and pointless. Sixth song (When you don’t like a bands sound, try to keep moving along because readers don’t like to see ten thousand words of negativity) is called The Elite and it’s more like I Don’t Need Society than the ‘Hard Core Template’ they’ve used on the other four ‘originals’. Not good, too stoppy starty with nothing to define it. Singer just screams and the band go mental. He stops screaming and the band calm down and then, then he starts screaming again. Not music.

Second last, September. Again a different type of style from the other numbers. Funky bass, possibly the best thing about any of the songs so far. Ah boring, so is final song, The Last Tide. What an unbelievably boring review.

If you like the band, try to include as much follow up material as possible, e.g. official sites, MySpace, gig dates…etc. If you didn’t like the band, finish on a remark trying to highlight their strong point of simply state that you didn’t think much of them. Tickets There would recommend…….you stay the hell away from Only Fumes and Corpses. (closing remark edited as part of TT’s ongoing commitment to be nicer to Irish bands but…it kind of involved a remark about the quality of music a pile of rotting flesh could produce in relation to these six long, drawn out, waste of time efforts. But we won’t say it)

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2 Responses to “D.I.Y. MySpace Review – Only Fumes and Corpses”

  1. Amazing. 4 years going and we finally get a bad review. 😉

    • There’s always one grumpy old fucker complaining about everything….recently, there’s been two – Tickets There. Daniel. the playing is great. Ye guys can do it, the songs just need some life, something to keep them interesting. But, if you sell a million albums, TT is wrong. If you don’t, have another read of the review and think about it.

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